What Used Car Salesman Say between talking to Used Car buyers

So, I have been advised I have to blog a few lines each day. So here goes:
Some of these lines were said by others, but I found them funny enough to at least remember to write them down. These were said by various used car salesmen I used to work with:
1. Here comes the Woodall Family. They Woodall have come to the showroom floor but they can't fit into their current car.
2. Down South we use automobile air bag recovery systems for only larger women. Weatherman can predict everything, including tornadoes.
God made whiskey so the Irish would not rule the world.
3. While at a small church in the South during a witness service an Old Man got up and said" I am thank full to the Lord because I had a bowl movement this morning and I feel great."
4. The theory of Relativity is only for people who can tolerate illegal drugs.